The Life-Changing Magic of Managing Up: An Introduction
Yes, you read that title correctly- this blog series is about the life-changing magic of managing up. I am completely inspired by Marie Kondo, who you may know wrote a book titled “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up,” and just like Marie transformed her life by embracing the magic of tidying up, I have transformed mine by embracing the life-changing magic of managing up. This blog series is an investigation of the 5 techniques that I have used to successfully manage up (and down) through all levels in my 17 years in corporate life. I’ve discovered these secrets gradually, but when I finally figured out how to use them well, it made a huge difference in my life… I’d like to share one story of how this came to be.
Many years ago, I was part of a management team where I got along really well with everyone, except for one person. Let’s call him Bob. When I first joined the organization, I was apt to ask questions about why things were done the way they were done, and despite what I believed were my purest intentions, Bob did not appreciate my curiosity. Bob felt threatened by the way I freely asked questions, and would often get frustrated explaining to me [yet again] why things evolved in the very logical way they had. Eventually, things got so bad between me and Bob that other people commented to me about how he was bullying me. It felt like everything I said was just automatically wrong, and that Bob would fight against it no matter what.
And then one day, we re-organized the company, and Bob became my boss. I was terrified. How on earth was I going to succeed with Bob, my number-one antagonizer, as my manager? Thankfully, at the time, I was in a personal growth group that encouraged me to dig-in and see what I could do to change the relationship. I had a lot of mentors in that group who encouraged me to look at my own behavior and attitudes, and to make subtle, yet powerful adjustments. Over the course of the next two years, I learned how to communicate where I was at and what I was thinking in a more thoughtful way. And, I learned how to support Bob’s initiatives and projects to my fullest capabilities. Over time, Bob’s and my relationship completely changed. He became my biggest supporter at the company, and I came to look at him as one of the best bosses I ever had. In fact, when I decided to leave that company, my biggest regret was that I would no longer get to work for or with Bob. It truly felt like magic…
But it wasn’t. It was all due to 5 simple techniques that I’m going to share with you over the next five weeks. Combined, they turned Bob from my #1 detractor to my #1 fan, and I want to share my strategies with you. Did you know that there is actually very little research about the benefits of having a good relationship with your boss? Maybe it’s so simple as to be obvious, but as I was writing this blog post, I was hoping to find some measure of ,“People are X% happier when they work well with their managers.” However, what does seem clear is that good relationships with leadership result in better working conditions, healthier atmospheres, and may even be able to lower your risk of heart disease**!" As we embark upon this journey together, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. How has your relationship with your manager impacted your life? Have you ever had a tough boss? What were some of the strategies you used to improve your relationship?
Tune in next week for my strategy #1: Respond.
**Citation: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/careers/how-bond-your-boss-n753296